This is my first movie review and I’m setting my own standards so please just go with me. I saw Unforgivable (Ainidariji) produced by Dayo Amusa and directed by Desmond Elliot and I can’t stop thinking about it for a number of reasons. It basically tells the story of a woman who is married to an abusive husband against all advice and counsel and pays dearly for it.
The story is the reality of many women; covered up with make-up and money no one knows the struggles they face until the abuse gets out of hand and it can’t be hidden anymore.
We see from the movie how Sewa’s friends counsel her against marrying Damola, a popular playboy on campus but she says she loves him exactly as he is and that she will change him….. I don’t know why we women say this (note that I included myself). I don’t understand what makes us think we have this special power to change a human being that has been the way he is for decades! Now, I think you can actually change some things in a man- like the way he dresses, or the quality of food he eats but I don’t believe anyone can change a man’s CHARACTER. I think you can only influence or encourage a man who RECOGNIZES a character flaw and IS WILLING TO CHANGE.
Damola’s best friend, Richard really loved Sewa when they were in school. He chased her but she wasn’t interested, she was rather intrigued by his playboy friend. This is another mystery of womanhood. What makes a woman ignore true love and cling to someone who has no regard for her? Why do we hold on to someone we have to plead with to love us? I love how the movie shows Damola’s obvious disinterest in Sewa, saying her lifestyle was different from his and he wasn’t even attracted to her. It also shows Richard’s woeful attempt to get Sewa’s interest. Richard had no confidence whatsoever and pestered the poor girl with unsolicited calls without making an attempt to BE HER FRIEND FIRST. Here I don’t really blame Sewa for ignoring him. No woman wants to be with a wimp so can the good guys man up? *sigh*
Sewa discovers after she is hospitalized that she has some kind of cancer- the movie didn’t say which, just that abnormal cells were discovered in her pelvis. Unfortunately it’s not treatable because the growth has accelerated beyond medical intervention. Her only option is chemotherapy to suppress the advancement of the tumor (this is what they said in the movie o, not my “expert” opinion). She is hospitalized for days and her husband doesn’t even show up once (even though he is very much aware of her situation) yet after she’s discharged she goes back to him. I don’t understand this. I know that she might not be financially well-off to be on her own or may have been afraid of the future and what the consequences might be for their teenage daughter but I think that an abusive husband who doesn’t show up at the hospital to see his wife after days of hospitalization and shows no remorse is not worth going back to. His intentions towards his wife could not be clearer.
My concern is confirmed and Damola continues hitting her over the slightest things until they get into a fight and he throws their daughter on to the sofa in anger when she tries to intervene. She lands on a knife which had earlier fallen out of her mother’s hands and dies shortly after. Now there’s no child and the woman is going to die anyway! Now you may argue that if Sewa had left her husband she may not have had custody of her daughter and died alone, but we will never know will we? Fact is, her husband accidentally killed her daughter in a situation that could have been avoided.
Damola becomes remorseful after he discovers his wife is dying from cancer and his daughter could be dying. After their daughter’s death he cleans up his act but it’s too late, Sewa dies shortly after. I questioned how realistic it was for a woman whose husband killed her child to still be with him but as I type this I realize I’ve seen this before. I used to know someone who lost her seven month old baby because her husband beat her in a drunken rage, yet she went back to him. I guess we women love hard! I’m all for sticking to your man and overcoming challenges to make it work but if it’s at the risk of one’s life and the well-being of the children I’d say run, sister, please run!
Meanwhile, Richard is happily married to his wife and is obviously the real deal.
What’s the morale of the story and this review? Never, ever ignore the signs. The pain isn’t worth it.
By the way I think Desmond Elliot and Dayo Amusa did a good job in telling this story.
I’d really appreciate your thoughts on this, maybe you can shed more light on it. Perhaps there are angles I’m just not considering.