When her four-year-old daughter declared, “My thighs are so fat!” Thao Lam realized that she needed to confront a big truth: she would have to embark on a journey of discovery to teach her daughter how to love her body.
On this journey to body positivity, the idea for her latest picture book, Everybelly, started to take shape in her mind. Lines, patterns, shapes, and colours manifested themselves on the page, and a simple story emerged with her daughter, Maddie, at the centre: a young girl walks by the poolside and encounters all kinds of bellies.
Thao began to create headless characters, centring the reader on the belly, an often-maligned body part. In her inclusive picture book, there are bellies with scars, tattoos, stretch marks, six-packs, insulin monitors, growing bellies—all kinds of bellies! Thao says she wanted to portray the perspective of children: “That’s why the characters are headless. A child sees the belly first. It’s their eye level. It’s how they learn people.”
“I didn’t want to lecture or repeat what’s already out there. I wanted to tell this story in my own way—with care and honesty.”
THAO LAM
Every character required special care as Thao wanted to illustrate diverse bodies with sensitivity. But in the unravelling of these characters, a different shedding took place. Thao recognized that she needed to unpack her own experiences with body shaming. Growing up in a home where her size and height were a constant topic, Thao’s journey to helping her daughter embrace body positivity required her to evaluate the subconscious messages she may have shared with her daughter due to her own experiences.
As I listened to Thao share this beautiful story of triumph over body shaming on my Journey of the Art podcast, I considered how children learn to see their bodies, my own childhood struggles with the darkness of my skin, and my mother’s intervention when I was determined to mask my darkness with makeup. She tenderly assured me that I did not need makeup and emphasized the beauty of my glowing, dark skin.
Fast forward decades later, when my own daughter became the only Black girl in her class. I didn’t have to reach too deep to remind her that her brown skin was beautiful. Every morning, before she walked into the school, I would have her repeat after me, “My brown skin is beautiful.” The affirmation my mother had showered on me all those years had pooled into a wellspring of self-assurance for my child.
When I asked Thao what she wanted readers to feel when they read her work, she said, “hungry,” and we laughed. Thao wants children to know it’s okay to nourish their bellies with foods from all over the world and use these foods as an avenue to interact with different cultures. Considering the rise of eating disorders in young children, this message has never been more important than it is now.
“Just like bellies are different, foods are different. Some are spicy, some are sweet. You don’t have to like them all. But try.”
THAO LAM
When I think of this heartwarming episode with Thao Lam, I’m moved by the worthiness of the mission: a mother’s sacrifice to set her child on the path of self-awareness and love. “I’m still reading,” she told me. “I’m making notes to educate myself and educate her and make sure she has the right tools to prepare her for out there.”
How lucky Maddie is!
The Internet doesn’t help either. The socially accepted body is not always achievable on treadmills or in protein shakes. Our genetic make up not only gives us our unique DNa but also our bodies.
The whole body image topic in my opinion just distracts us from the bigger topic of being good people!
You’re right! Our unique DNA plays an important role in the way we look. Thao talked about this too. 😊
[…] shared some more thoughts on this episode on my other website—check it out! […]